In an era where leadership is too often conflated with executive titles, corner offices, and polished public relations statements, true authority remains remarkably rare. Real leadership does not live on an organisational chart. It exists in daily decisions, the willingness to speak difficult truths, and the quiet courage to uphold integrity when the personal and professional stakes are at their highest.
For 25 years, Jo Tarnawsky navigated the highest corridors of the Australian public service. As a diplomat, senior government executive, Deputy Official Secretary to the Governor-General, and chief of staff in federal parliament, she spent her career in rooms where national decisions were negotiated. Yet when her government career came to an abrupt, highly public, and challenging end, she was forced to confront a profound question. Who are you when the prestigious title disappears?
Today, as a strategic advisor, speaker, and founder of This Is Leadership, Jo works with leaders, organisations, and change-makers across Australia. Drawing from her extensive background in international relations, governance, and workplace culture, she offers a realistic, grounded perspective on what it takes to lead effectively in high-pressure environments.
Redefining Failure and Decoupling Identity from Rank
For many professional women, career progression is viewed through a rigid, linear lens. Success is measured by the next promotion, while unexpected disruption is categorised as a personal failure. This fear of failing often keeps women overly cautious, silent in key meetings, or trapped in positions that no longer serve their growth. It also fuels imposter syndrome, where individuals feel their worth is entirely dependent on maintaining a flawless external record.
When Jo faced a stressful departure from her parliamentary role after speaking up about inappropriate workplace behaviour, the fallout was intense and isolating. Yet looking back, she rejects the narrative that career disruption equals personal failure.
“Failure almost feels very complete, like that’s the end point,” Jo explains. “Instead, I take lessons from experiences. It is about taking lemons and lemonading them, making something useful from what you have been given.”
This concept of “lemonading” is a powerful reframe for breaking internal barriers. It shifts the focus from victimhood to active post-traumatic growth. When you accept that mistakes, conflict, and unexpected setbacks are inherent to any meaningful career, you free yourself to make bold, principled decisions.
A critical step in this evolution is decoupling your self-worth from your official job title. Relying solely on a corporate rank to validate your standing leaves your confidence fragile and dependent on external structures. When that structure shifts, imposter syndrome can easily take over. Reflecting on her transition out of senior government roles, Jo offers practical advice for leaders navigating career transitions.
“You are not your job, and in many ways you are more than your job. Leadership and the impact that you can have, it’s not tied to the title that you have. Stepping out of an institutional environment isn’t easy, but your identity expands as you create something new.”
Reading the Second Map of Workplace Power Dynamics
To deliver genuine value within any organisation, professional women must look beyond official policies and formal reporting structures. By defining your unique value, you will understand how your leadership can be an asset to any team. One of the most valuable skills a leader can develop is the ability to read the hidden power dynamics.
Every workplace operates on two distinct maps. The first is the visible organisational chart. The second is the unwritten map of interpersonal power dynamics. During her tenure in foreign service and senior executive roles, Jo observed how authority functions when formal titles are stripped away. In many instances, individuals with modest designations exert tremendous influence over strategic outcomes, while some senior executives with impressive titles can hold very little practical leverage.
“To me, leadership isn’t a title,” Tarnawsky states. “It is about how you use your power and influence. First and foremost, it’s not what you say, but it’s what you do every day. It’s how you make decisions, how you treat people, whether you’re willing to say the hard thing or do the hard thing, and most importantly, whether you’re willing to do the right thing, even when that’s difficult.”
Understanding this distinction is vital when addressing complex workplace issues like culture and psychosocial safety. Organisations frequently invest in well-crafted policies, equity charters, and code-of-conduct guidelines. However, a persistent gap often remains between what these documents state and what occurs in practice.
That gap is driven by unwritten power dynamics. When leaders learn to read this second map, they can identify where decisions are actually negotiated, interpret subtle behavioural shifts during controversial discussions, and navigate political undercurrents without compromising their ethics. Your unique value as a leader does not stem from memorising policy manuals. It stems from your ability to read these dynamics, maintain psychological safety, and influence key outcomes with clarity and composure.
Dismantling Scarcity and Expanding Influence
Building presence and authority as a leader requires examining how women interact with one another in competitive corporate settings. Historically, the systemic underrepresentation of women in executive suites created a scarcity mindset. When there is only one seat allocated for a woman at a decision-making table, it is easy to view female peers as direct competition rather than natural allies.
Jo actively dismantles this scarcity model. True leadership requires expanding the room, celebrating the achievements of colleagues, and recognising that another person’s success does not diminish your own standing. When professional women collaborate and amplify one another, collective influence expands significantly.
Visibility is not about being the loudest voice in the room. It is about consistently showing up for others and demonstrating your values through action. When you back your peers, you position yourself as an authoritative, confident leader who operates from a place of abundance rather than fear.
Activate Your Bystander Power
Fostering an environment where women can thrive demands practical strategies to address inappropriate workplace behaviour when it happens. When toxic behaviour, dismissive comments, or subtle bullying occur in a meeting, the standard response from observers is passive silence. Colleagues often convince themselves that staying silent is neutral or self-protective. In reality, silence functions as tacit approval, allowing harmful dynamics to dominate, often leaving the targeted individual completely isolated.
Overcoming this dynamic requires using your bystander power. This is the single most effective action you can take to change the culture of your immediate working environment. Confronting unacceptable behaviour head-on can feel daunting, particularly when a power imbalance exists. Effective intervention, however, does not require an aggressive or dramatic confrontation.
Jo outlines a specific, highly practical tactic to disrupt inappropriate behaviour in real time without escalating hostility.
“You don’t have to confront them head on. You can ask a question. You can say something like, ‘I’m sorry, what was that again, What did you say?’ And it makes them stop and have to check themselves, be more conscious about it.”
This single action serves as an immediate circuit breaker in the room. First, it pauses the interaction immediately, forcing the individual to stop and reflect on what they just communicated. Second, it removes plausible deniability, requiring the speaker to either repeat an inappropriate statement explicitly or rephrase it appropriately. Third, it signals subtle disapproval, demonstrating to the rest of the room that the comment was noted and questioned. Finally, it breaks the isolation of the target, showing them that their colleagues are paying attention and setting standard boundaries.
Mastering this tactic allows you to protect team culture, manage power dynamics, and establish yourself as a courageous, capable leader without engaging in unnecessary conflict.
Strengthening Your Presence Moving Forward
Sustainable confidence cannot be manufactured through external accolades, artificial posturing, or corporate badges. It develops through lived experience, rigorous self-awareness, and the intentional cultivation of a trusted professional network.
Positioning yourself as a leader is ultimately an everyday choice. Seniority does not automatically confer leadership, nor does a lower rank prevent you from influencing those around you. As Jo reflects on her career transition and her advisory work with organisations across the country, her core message to emerging and established leaders remains consistent.
“Every single person has power, whether they recognise it or not. The power isn’t determined by your seniority. It’s in what you do, so make sure that you use it well.”
By accepting imperfection, trusting your internal compass, and using your voice wisely, you build a resilient, impactful leadership presence that endures through every stage of your career.
Links to Jo’s work
Connect with Jo on LinkedIn: Jo Tarnawsky or Instagram: @jo_tarnawsky
Visit Jo’s website:
https://www.jotarnawsky.com/
Access Jo’s digital resources for navigating a toxic work environment. Use the discount code HELPISHERE at checkout for 20% off.
Are you ready to understand your unique leadership qualities and achieve your career goals? Head over to jennifercowley.com to explore coaching programmes designed to help you break barriers, bring your unique value to the table, and finally be seen as the leader you are.
